well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Randomize
