No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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