Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
