Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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