these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
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So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
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I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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