This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
