ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
