Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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