Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
