im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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