i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I am available for nakedness
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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