That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
this hospital has no fireball
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
