Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
