I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"