You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING