I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?