i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
