I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
