Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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