Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
