She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
