I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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