Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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