Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
