Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
