Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
