We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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