Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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