I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
