My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Of course I have a pirate flag
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
