my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
