So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
