I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
