ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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