You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
