what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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