Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
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He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
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Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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