seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
