You made me cry and you don't even care
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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