I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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