She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
