he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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