Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
