The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
