I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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