found the other keg... it's in the tree
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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