I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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