i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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