I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
