Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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