thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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