Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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