If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
