My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
