i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
