i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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