So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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