i need an iv and a liver transplant
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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