Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
