i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
