Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
