Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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