We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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