But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
