Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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