Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.

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(214): View more from Texas

Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem

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(925): View more from California

I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands

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(209): View more from California

She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.

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(850): View more from Florida

You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.

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